"So lets go through a Feather Step. On the third step we have CBMP. We are on the outside of the lady on her right hip and she on ours. If we do anything other than a foot placement there she will have difficulty on her Heel Turn which for her the first step needs to be a big step. If we where to take a big step there ourselves. What does the lady do."
Quickstep, once more we must review this, because you SIMPLY ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION when you read.
The step is not big because the man takes a big step. Instead, it is big because, during the time when he takes a merely moderate swing of his leg (and she takes a merely moderate swing of her leg) both bodies continue to move a large distance over the floor. This moderate leg swing, added onto a large body travel, creates a large step.
If both partners do not yet have the strenght and skill to sustain movement of the body throughout the step, then yes of course it will need to be small. And the dancing will also look halting and unpleasant. Remember the second step moves, and the next first step will move. To have the third step not continue movement would break the flow! But until both dancers develop the skill to sustain movement, that is what will happen.
"To take a big step you will most certainly OPEN YOUR STANCE,"
Only if you make the mistake of trying to do it by swining your leg. You can't go big by swinging your leg on and outside partner step, because there isn't room to swing it without opening you stance. So instead, you must allow your body to move throughout the step, carrying your leg along. And during this, your leg will make a moderate swing that adds to your body movement, not a large one.
It's as if you were standing on an airport people mover and took a small step. As far as the partnership is concerned it is a small step. But as far as anyone standing still in the room is concerned, it's a big step that covered a lot of ground!
Are you going to ask her to take a bigger step still. I seem to remember you giving a description of a Back Lock as a bowman drawing his bow. That's good. Now if this is a Feather step and you are going forward the same applies except the right foot is placed in CBMP. To take a big step you will most certainly OPEN YOUR STANCE, and as we all know that's not on is it. Just recently said on tape. If we twist our spine our shoulders will have difficulty following our body. I think this applies here also. From the way you wtite and have written I think you believe that the first one around the floor is the winner. Nothing could be further from the truth.